Hi, my name is Melody, and I am alcoholic.

When I first came to AA, I believed in God, but I was afraid of Him. I had an Old Testament God -- a punishing God, who would smite me down for all my sins. When they said to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, I was afraid I couldn't really do that. So, they suggested that I try their view of a loving God. What did I have to lose? No one had ever suggested that I had it wrong before. When I considered it, I realized that I had been raised by a raging alcoholic father, and that his alcoholic thoughts and beliefs were the basis of what I had been taught and what I believed in. So I decided to throw out all my preconceived notions and let God tell me what was true or not. I stepped out in faith, and I learned that God does love me and care for me no matter what. I realize now, that at my worst, God loved me enough to bring me to this fabulous program and doesn't hate me for who I was or what I did. My father always told me about the story of the mother eagle who shoves her fledglings out of the nest to either fly or die. But he was wrong. I found out later that the mother eagle does not do that. A mother eagle shoves her fledglings out of the nest all right, but she watches, and if they are not making it she swoops down underneath them, catches them on her back, and returns them to the nest to try again another day. That is what I have learned about my loving God. He is not in judgment of me. It is progress, not perfection, and as long as I continue to be willing to seek His will, I will continue to grow and become more of what He created me to be one day at a time. Thank you for all being there to help this alcoholic to do just that. AA has been my first experience of unconditional love.

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