Hi ... Peyton here, and definitely an alkie.

Moderation is a word I'm still struggling to learn the meaning of. Long before I took my first drink, I was an all-or-nothing kidlet. Drinking didn't change that. And drinking was something I didn't and cannot do in moderation. I saw things as either black or white, no gray areas, absolutely wonderful, or crushingly (is that a word?) horrible. I immersed myself in AA when I first came, and I don't see that as a bad thing at all. I needed to. I needed that support, the wisdom, the experience, strength and hope of everyone to stay sober. One thing I have learned though is that if I allow myself to let my program slip, to slide into the background, I'm just a breath away from taking that first drink. I admit that I don't spend nearly as much time in this online room as I once did, or in face-to-face meetings, but AA, this beautiful program of recovery and life, mut remain with me; with me actively working the Steps each day, putting into practice what I have learned, or I will lose it. I am sort of proud that I haven't gone to the grocery store with my push trolley, and ended up calling a cab because there were way too many groceries, etc., to put in it and carry. Believe me, that is a major moderation thing for me! And I suppose this old dog isn't too old to learn new tricks, and if I can do it, anyone can. Thanks for allowing me to share.

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