Hi, my name is Joni and I'm an alcoholic.

When I fell into an AA room, I was filled with rage and anger ... the only two emotions I could identify at that point. I was so full of fear and self-pity that I could not see out of it. Slowly, I worked with a sponsor and added the Steps and a Higher Power into my life. It took me a lot longer than 53 days for sure. I was unique. I was different. You didn't understand me. You had nothing like my life to deal with. If you had my life you would drink too. Slowly I was able to receive the messages you all gave me. Look at me, not them. Use the Steps to look at myself, remember that I was never alone, and use the Fellowship to learn not to whine, not to dump my stuff. Just stop, listen, and learn. When I was told at one and a half years sober that I would never work again and most likely not walk for too much longer, I went into a rage. I was so filled with fear. I had to learn a new way. I had to learn what all of you knew ... that I was Forgetting Everything was All Right. I was OK. I needed medical and legal advice from the pros, not the rooms, and I needed the support and the tools you had to help me find the courage to follow through. After two bouts with cancer and several other things, I know today that nothing is too much for my Fellowship, my Higher Power, and me to handle. I have not had to resort to a drink because I was taught to get out of my own way. Go help someone else. Listen to others ... they have worse problems than you have. Be careful that self doesn't kill you. And most of all shut up and get into action. Just do it. It has been working so well that today I have the best life of anyone I know. Life can be good ... not perfect, just plain good, full of joy and love and laughter. I love AA and I love being involved right smack in the middle the safest place in the world.

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