My name is Peach, grateful to be here and grateful to be sober. When I first got here I didn't know I was an alcoholic, or even what one was. I knew I was having a problem with my drinking and beyond that, I thought I was just plain crazy ... lock-me-up-somewhere-and-throw-away-the-key kind of crazy. But I didn't want to be locked up either. Because I just didn't want to play with life anymore. All of a sudden, I couldn't remember anything. I was having blackouts every night, and had no clue from losing things to finding stuff in the strangest places. I thought I was just nuts, and there was only the slightest little chance that I might be an alcoholic, or that alcohol might have something to do with it. So I came to AA to find out if I really was nuts or if I was/am an alcoholic. The blackouts scared the heck out of me. I was afraid of injuring my family physically, and that kept me dry for a little while. But at first I was just doing it for them to protect them from me. But as I sat in the rooms and listened, and watched, and learned, I saw something in those "grateful alcoholics" that I wanted: hope, happiness, joy, freedom, peace of mind, serenity, harmony, and a sanity that allows one to live in the real world without drinking. Or feeling like you should be locked up in a straight jacket somewhere. I wanted what they had. So I started to recover for me. I have to stay sober for me ... not for my family, nor anyone else. Selfish? Maybe a little, but by staying sober for me, I "get"to be there for my family, I "get" to help others, and I "get" to have all those wonderful things in my life that I saw in those "grateful alcoholics." I am truly blessed and very grateful to be an alcoholic, recovering within Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank you all for letting me share.

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