Hi everyone my name is Ron, and I am an alcoholic.

For the longest time in AA, I saw guilt as something that was undesirable in sobriety. Later on while I was in a Twelve-Step study I learned I was very mistaken. Guilt is a natural instinct that can guide me in my daily walk if it is reflected upon correctly. If I harm someone out of anger or lust for example, it is appropriate and natural to feel guilt. God gave me a conscience to guide me, and in doing His will in my life it was His steering wheel for my thoughts and actions in life. The Fourth Step states, "Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misguided instincts." That was my problem. My guilt instinct was all mixed up. I felt guilty for things that I had no reason to feel guilty about, and not guilty for things that I often should have. At times I would even feel guilty for the wrongdoing of others. Therefore, sometime during my alcoholic career I learned not to trust my feelings or myself. Prior to entering AA, I was forced to live by a certain code in order to survive; though I found that living by that same code in AA would kill me. I had to be willing to let God mold my life to best do His will, by doing appropriate steps Four and Five, continually applying Step Ten to my life, and accepting guidance from my sponsor. Slowly, through a spiritual awakening, God healed that area if myself. Actually, I believe it to be ongoing and directly proportional to my spiritual awareness and a conscious contact with God. The positive side is that it also applies to other instincts and feelings. Feelings such as joy, sadness, anger and the like, are also healed in a similar fashion. All I have to be is willing to be transformed by the will of God.

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