Hi all, Peggy here, definitely an alcoholic.

I'm grateful to be sober and at a meeting. For this alcoholic, the greatness of my joy can only be measured by how deeply I have been willing to touch my pain. The Twelve Steps help me look at my life in an in-depth way. I have learned a lot about what causes me pain and how I cause pain to others. If I do not know pain, I cannot know joy, and vice versa. One can't be there without the other, and sometimes I have what I call "good pain." It's the pain that nudges me to grow, to change, and to look at something in my life that is not quite right. Pain can be a great motivator. It helps me grow, and when I've moved through a certain amount of pain, then relief/joy/pleasure comes. And it's not necessarily a manic sense of pleasure; it can be just a deep feeling of satisfaction or wellness. When drinking, everything for me was about drama .. "Poor me," or "Woohoo! Let's party!" Today, I can endure a certain amount of discomfort and experience joy/pleasure internally. It's rooted in me today and that makes it easier to stay in a balanced place. And to remain sober, I need to stay balanced on all levels -- spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Do I like pain? Absolutely not! Is it part of my reality? Absolutely yes! Will drinking may it better? Absolutely not! And finally -- will it pass? Well, you know the answer to that. Thank you for keeping this joyful alcoholic sober another day.

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