Joannie here, an alcoholic for sure. I always felt I had to buy my friendships. If I didn't, I thought no one would pay attention to me. I struggled through many years of no self-esteem. There were two abusive marriages, and although I found jobs where folks would need me, I still went home and was alone ... even with husband and kids. I found drinking alcohol at age 32, and it worked wonders. I became (in my mind) pretty, fun to be with, worthy of your company. Until alcohol turned on me. And boy! Did it ever! Folks started avoiding me, my family didn't care to be around me, my job suffered, and my credit went down the tubes. I sat home alone with my bottle of whiskey for three years. I found AA when my son asked me to go check it out. I went to a meeting, sat in the back, and did not participate. I set myself apart, didn't speak, and wondered why no one liked me. I took no suggestions. I hit one meeting a week and stayed sober (dry) for almost three years. I drank again, and it took me another three years to make it back to the rooms. This time, I sat up front, listened to every word, took suggestions, and when they asked for someone to help greet at the door, I raised my hand. I did that for a while, then offered to make coffee, set up chairs, and clean ashtrays. I found a sponsor who would take me through the Big Book and start me on the Steps of this program. I got involved. No longer just a fixture on the wall, I reached out to newcomers and shared my own experience, strength and hope with them. I was slowly getting my life back. I moved to Florida three years ago, found a lot of meetings here, found a home group, and got involved with AA service work again. I've got a sponsor here, too, and am happier than I have ever been in my life. It never ceases to amaze me that all it took was willingness to do what it takes, become a part of the program ... not just a lump in a chair expecting to recover by osmosis. Thank you for letting me share.

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