Hi family. Ellen here, alcoholic and blessed. What a great day to be sober and here with all of you. We are all living proof that a Higher Power is truly in charge. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. Many of us come to AA mad at God, saying He didn't answer my prayers! I turned away from His love and power. Why? After having been raised in a strong faith, alcohol changed my personality. Simple as that. It ruled everything I did and thought. I had lost my spiritual foundation for living. I had no coping mechanisms. I thought God was punishing me and I became seriously neurotic. When I hit bottom, as I know it for me, I tossed out all the "by-rote" prayers, and cried out, "Please God! Help me!" That's the moment it became real for me. I've seen members in meetings avow to atheism or agnosticism stand and recite the closing prayer. It seems they may have a genuine fear of trusting in God to really heal us. I had to start somewhere; everything was going downhill ... bodily functions, mental state, etc. I needed to take a cold hard look at myself. Now mind you, I didn't just skip into AA and say, "Oh goody!" I fought, kicked, and screamed! But what hooked me was seeing people get better after I heard their horror stories. I was flabbergasted! What a relief! There is Hope! Today I can live in happiness and in the sunshine of nature. We pay our dues, to be sure, by metamorphosing into the miracles God meant us to be. Let your whole being be enwrapped in the divine spirit. Faith is our soul's breathing of God's love. It works!

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