Good evening everyone! My name is Tracy, and I am an alcoholic.

They say to get this program one needs Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. When I first came to the program I was more than willing. I was in great pain, and I wanted what you had. I didn't understand on many levels what this meant, but I was willing to go to meetings and I was willing to be honest. As honest I was able, at the time. I was also willing to have an open mind. I listened. I did what I was told. I went to six meetings a week. I got a sponsor. I called my sponsor. I cleaned ashtrays. I chaired when I was told to, and I felt willing. Then they told me to form a relationship with my Higher Power. WHAT? I didn't get that so much, but I was willing. They said, "Ask for help in the morning and say thanks at night" ... so I did. I began to feel "connected." I began to talk to this Higher Power more often, not just the morning and night but also I began to talk to my HP in the afternoon, too. They said, "Now, give it back!" WHAT? "Talk to others; share what you have found." I was willing. Not too sure what I had to offer, but I will give it a try. Someone asked me to sponsor them. I was willing. I learned all I had to do was share my experience, strength and hope. I found that I felt AMAZING after doing this. I found it was helping me. I was WILLING to do anything they told me to do. I have found that Willingness has come back to me tenfold. Everything I was willing to give, I got back. If I was willing to share, I heard what I needed. When I was willing to clean up after the meeting, I felt good about myself. I felt like I belonged. I was at home. Willingness has given me the ability to move beyond my own limitations. Now I need to say that today I don't seem to have that same willingness. My newness and pain brought desperation that made willingness come so easy to me. Today, I need to be willing to have a few things happen, and I find it doesn't come as it used to. I have to pray for willingness. Sometimes, I have to pray for the willingness to listen. Willingness gave me everything I have today and I don't ever want to lose it, so I need to find some more willingness. I hope you can help! Thanks for listening.