Good morning! I am Charlie, an alcoholic.

I have always had a deep need to feel loved. I've always had a need to have someone to love. Sadly, in my quest to have these needs met I had only a warped idea of what love really is. I thought that if you loved me, you would do as I said, because if you didn't, that must mean you don't love me. Also if you didn't love me, you were my enemy. I lived that way a very long time. As an active alcoholic, I needed only one thing ... booze. As I kept on drinking, my fears of not getting the "love" I wanted grew. I became violent with the very people who loved me. It's so strange how alcoholism can wipe out all the good others did for me only to replace it with fear of losing what I had. Well, I can say as a result of not drinking and following the example of those who loved me in spite of myself and accepted me without question (you AA'ers), I was able to form a more healthy idea of how to love and how to receive love. That doesn't make me an expert nor free from relationship problems, it just encourages me to an even better understanding of what love really is. Thanks!

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