Hi everyone, I'm Mary Ann, an alcoholic.

Resentments ... I never really knew the meaning of the word until I started working this program. Resentments, anger and fear come in the same package for me, and I believe are the root of many of my problems. When I harbor resentments though, whom am I really hurting? I am learning I am only hurting myself. Before I came into AA, I used to think it would hurt others, but it does not. There was a line in a movie that summed it all up for me. I am sure most of you are familiar with The Godfather. In Part II, Michael is now the Don and his sister Connie comes to him to make amends for their years of not getting along. In the movie she says to him, "I hated you so much that I hurt myself so you would know how much I hated you." That line hit me like a ton of bricks! It really sums it up for me. I have dealt with a lot of depression and physical problems over the past few months. I've lost a lot of work time and hopefully a day at a time, I am rebuilding my reputation. When I came back to work, one of my coworkers started giving me the cold shoulder, and I started harboring a resentment against her. The problem is that resentment feeds itself, and so it grew. After a month, I not only resented her but several other people as well. In my alcoholic mind, I built up such a scenario and such paranoia it would take me too long to tell you about it. The point is, yesterday I was finally alone with this person and I just came out with, "what is wrong between the two of us? We don't talk any more," and she said to me, "well, we are talking now and it's OK." I told her I was sorry for acting like an idiot and we hugged and made up. God, that felt good! Resentments can be let go of if we give them up to God and let Him guide us.