I'm Paul, an alcoholic.

Fear is something that has been a big part of my life ... fear of everything and everyone, fear of people, places, and things. I was one sick alkie. I used to fear people, and wouldn't talk to them. I wouldn't go to big events or walk into a room alone. It got to the point where I feared living because of my drinking, but at the same time I feared death. Fear is lack of faith, and I had no faith in anything. I couldn't begin to even believe in a Higher Power. Alcohol was the only Higher Power I knew ... my only friend. I was terrified coming into AA. I won't lie to you about that. Through this program and the people here, I slowly began to believe in something besides myself. The group was my Higher Power for a lot of years, and through them, I began to work on fear. And with AA and the program, I looked at the real problem ... me! Today, I have total faith in my Higher Power. I still have fears but am able to work on them. Six months ago here in this room, I would not share. I would just sit here and watch. Then a newcomer came along, and today I know my Higher Power put them here to help me get over that fear. It was they who kicked me in the butt and got me to open up. I will be forever thankful to God for putting them in my life. Today with the faith I have in my Higher Power, I can deal with fears as they arise, and deal with them in good ways, not bad. There will always be fear, but with my Higher Power, AA, this program, and all of you, fear does not have to control my life today.

Thanks for allowing me to share, and thank AA, God, and all of you for today.