Hi all, Renato -- grateful alcoholic.

I believed in God ever since I can remember, but the part about coming to believe He could restore me to sanity didn't come until much later and after many years of falling on my face. I used to pray for things, situations, non-situations, get me out of this one, give me this, give me that, then I'll be happy, and then I'll be good. The last thing I ever thought I wanted was to be restored to sanity, because with the drinking came that self-absorbed pleasure in being insane, like a fantasy game, except it was all too real. Sometimes I'd end up on a psych ward and I'd demand to go to a detox instead. They'd call over to the detox where they'd say, no, Renato is just fine where he is with you guys. AA showed me just how sick I'd become and how there was a way of recovering. I began to want what the people with contented sobriety had. I shut my mouth and listened like my life depended on it, and started to learn how twisted my relationship with God had been before AA's taught me a much better way of relating to God. God hasn't changed, I have.

I love you guys, thanks for letting me share.