I'm Chuck, an alcoholic.

After several false starts, I heard the words, "Whatever it takes," in a meeting, and I decided to do just that. I went through the Steps quickly, as was suggested in the Big Book and by my temporary sponsor. I got enough relief from the controlling pain of my past to be able to stay sober long enough for the rest of the fog to begin to lift. I have overheard people say that they only had to work the first three Steps, or even the first nine Steps just once. That was not the case for me. The first time I tried Step Three, I had reservations. I held back. I said, "God, I give you everything except items one through nine, etc." Well, I stayed sober, but I was one miserable guy most of the time. So, I tried again. And this time, I gave up all but item nine. You would think that would be enough. But no ... He wanted it all! I dug in my heels. I gritted my teeth. I told God, "I cannot follow You unless You give me this certain thing." But finally, in great pain, I isolated myself for two weeks. I quit going to meetings, quit eating and bathing, and only went out around midnight to buy junk food. And finally, I'd had enough. I got down on my knees and gave up. I said, "Okay, it is all Yours. I am tired and I just can't fight it any more." It was a sudden thing, not a slow awakening. I felt suddenly lighter, lights were brighter, and everything even smelled better ... I'd bathed! Everything changed. I believe I had a Spiritual Awakening that day, and I believe it is the first time I ever actually felt the presence of God. All it took was for me to stop fighting anything and everything.

Thanks for listening.