Hi all, I'm Betty, an alcoholic.

I had no problem with (a) and (b) ... it is the (c) that I have trouble with, and where I am continuing to search for a Higher Power. I had no trouble believing that I was alcoholic, and that my life was unmanageable. I believed that your HP had got you out of your own alcoholic compulsions, but turning over to HP continues to perplex me. I came to AA a good, honest agnostic with a religious upbringing, and the usual adolescent loss of faith. I pretty much kept the moral code I was raised with, but I was not sure there was a God. So, to make a long story short, over the years my conception of a Higher Power has varied. As to God as I don't understand Him/Her/It and/or G.O.D - Group Of Drunks (the fellowship of AA) ... depending on how I feel that day, so far, so good. I have asked other AA’s how they figure out what is God's will in their lives, and the most understandable answer I got was to go by my gut feelings. I had the feeling I was alcoholic when I got here, so I had no trouble understanding that. Also, what I would feel was right and comfortable was probably God's will, so going by that, I would not be fighting it. This is simplistic, but you get the idea. Also, in cases where there have been no good answers, I consult with my sponsor, trusted friends, and pray a lot. I have to do this on a regular basis. My HP doesn't tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hiya Betty, howareya today?" but so far, my sponsor tells me I'm a heck of a lot more serene than when I walked in the door over twenty years ago.

Thanks to you for being here and contributing to my sobriety today.