Hi folks, Ellen here, alcoholic, and blessed.

If I don't put 100% effort into my recovery, I won't get back. I was so sensitive. My feelings were very easily hurt, I would cry at the blink of an eyelash, and I was just plain lazy and full of self-satisfaction. When I came to AA I was very sick and bewildered. But when I saw and heard so much giving selflessly, it blew my mind. And the people didn't want anything from me. I saw how people would disregard their own comfort to help another. How what happens is not so darn important all the time. Learning to put it in perspective. To learn to put the 'small' stuff aside for what really needs to be done. Our singleness of purpose is to help the still sick and suffering. What an incredible experience to be able to be sober and see the miracles! Alas ... not all is pleasant and wonderful. There are some real screw ups as there are in life. I once asked a sponsee, "Are you willing to go to any length?" She said, what does that mean? Right there, I knew she wasn't ready! So, she played "relapse merry-go-round" until the booze finally kicked her so hard she'd had it. Today, I am able to give all of me ... not just when it's convenient ... for I would not be alive, happy, joyous and free unless I give it all. We know. We who have failed learn true humility. From this arises a deep sense of gratitude to God for giving us the strength to rise above that failure. Our Steps teach us that tolerance comes through humility. We are given all the tools to help each other selflessly. I know half measures availed me nothing at all.

Thanks for letting me share.