My name is Phyllis R. and I'm a grateful alcoholic.

One morning in October 1989, I was sitting at my dining room table. My head was pounding, and I was contemplating suicide again. In that last year I had tried it twice, and was rescued both times by my son who was only seventeen at the time. I was so deep into that hole of depression from the guilt that was devouring me, I could not see a single reason to go on living like this. I was a single mother who had raised four children the best way I knew, had tried to be there for them physically, but never for them emotionally. I often told them they were lucky I was there at all. One of my daughters had psychological problems after being molested by a family member. At the age of fifteen, she ran away from home, never returning until her death in October 1988. My guilt was unbearable, I couldn't drink enough, I couldn't get drunk anymore, alcohol had stopped working for me, and I just wanted to die. The morning when I was at my dining room table, my son intervened. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and said, "Mom, we don't want you to die, please get help." So on October 30, 1989, one year and fifteen days after my daughter Wendy passed, I entered a 28-day recovery hospital program and have been sober since. I thank that hospital for saving my life and introducing me to Alcoholics Anonymous. And I thank Alcoholics Anonymous for introducing me to my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God. By His grace, I am celebrating fourteen years of sobriety this month, and have received gifts beyond my wildest dreams. That seventeen year old son is now thirty-two, and on January 3, he will be celebrating his sixth year of sobriety. My oldest daughter just celebrated one year. We are still saving a chair for my youngest daughter. Thank you so much for letting me share my experience, strength and hope with you. I hope you keep coming back, I know I plan to.