I'm Peggy, an alcoholic.

I know I can usually see the growth and change in all of you much faster than I can see in myself. I believe in my heart of hearts that is why I am so hard on myself at times. I need to remind myself that I am just the same as all of you and if I see you change, then I must be changing also. Funny . . . it's sort of an ego/humility thing for me. Who am I to think that I am any different from any of you? We are all in this together. If you grow, I grow. If you have defects of character, then so do I. When your defects of character disturb me, then they must be making me look at mine right in the face! My sponsor often told me that when I am uncomfortable with something when someone is sharing and I want to shut it out, not listen, or literally run out of the room, that is the time I had better listen because I wasn't wanting to look at something about myself! I loved to hate that sponsor! So . . . I will continue to grow (ouch). Yes, pain comes with it, but the gifts I get and am able to share with you and others in the fellowship could never measure up to the joy in my life today. Even when I am feeling tired and worn out, being healthy today allows me to address that and change my state of being. To grow, I need to be in constant contact with my Higher Power. I call to HP all the time. At work, I sometimes run into my office and yell, "God, please help me," and God does. Each day I continue to not drink, HP is working in my life. All I have to do is give back to a Fellowship that has given to me immeasurably.

Thank you for listening and keeping me sober today.