I'm Pamela, an alcoholic.

When I pray, I am giving everything to God. I am praying that I do not keep anything. I am praying to be emptied out, to be wholly surrendered, to be nothing. I have lost concern that I will give God too much of me. That was an old and insane concern for this alcoholic. When I am empty of self, 'freed from the bondage of self,' I am more serene, and therefore more capable to take assignment from my Higher Power. In the midst of prayer, I sit still, and attempt to know my Higher Power is here for me, here with me.

When I have an "assignment," there is no doubt what is my part. When I have an assignment, I see no predetermined conclusion in my assignment. I see only tiny action steps, tiny things for me to do. If I am attempting to make something happen, I am out of assignment and into self will.

And so it goes ... there's really very little for me to do. Patience is the most difficult part, and remembering that I truly don't know the correct solution, and therefore have no requirement to make it happen. I must merely focus on being me and being me in the minute I'm in ... doing the 'next right thing,' which is always small and obvious, during my 'daily reprieve,' based on my 'fit spiritual condition.' And all of this comes one day at a time using the simple tools taught to me by suiting up and showing up and following suggestions. God bless AA!