My name is Jack, and I'm an alcoholic.

I grew up in an alcoholic family .. you know, CIA (Catholic Irish Alcoholic) .. and I thought I knew so much about this disease that it wouldn't get me. I carefully controlled my drinking for years since I knew the dangers and what it could do to me. I saw what it did to friends and family members, too. As the years went by, I slowly lost that self control I so prided myself in. I vowed wouldn't make a fool of myself, but finally my marriage fell apart and I blamed everything on her. It took me five years in sobriety before I acknowledged that I had a part in the breakup. Anyway, near the end of my drinking, I cried out for help and my daughter got me into a rehab. A 'bootcamp' rehab. It's what I really needed. They did not want to hear 'pity-potters.' No excuses. It forced me to look at myself. I sank into deep depression after getting sober, and thought it would never end. I described it as a crushing depression. Old-timers told me it would get better, but I did not believe them. "Keep coming back," they told me. I thought they were cuckoo, but did keep coming back, because I just did not know what else to do. Finally, after about eight months, the darkness started to recede and, in spite of myself, things did start to get better. AA had taught me how to live in the world, and not to hide in the program. I do have a life today. My greatest joy is to see someone come into the rooms looking the way I did when I came in, and then they start to get it. That's the miracle of AA. An old-timer told me one time that God will save your soul, but AA will save your A--! Thanks for letting me share.