My name is Ellen, and I am an alcoholic in recovery.

I remember my 'bottom' and how sick I was in so many ways. And when I came through the doors of AA, I was clueless about so many things. First of all, I hadn't grasped the concept of not drinking. I just thought I would find a way to solve my problems and be able to drink. I sat in outpatient treatment for a whole year, really oblivious to the concept of following a twenty-four hour plan. I went to many, many meetings ... after all, I drank many, many drinks! And as it started to sink in how very sick I really was and how close to death I came, I was blessed with God's grace and with the willingness to embrace AA. I made all the usual promises before I got here ... I swore, "never again!" after each giant hangover. I tried to stay stopped. I counted my drinks, but it was always the same result ... DRUNK! DRUNK! DRUNK! I finally listened to learn and learned to listen. It began to sink in that I'm always just one drink away from a drunk. I saw those who had relapsed, it scared the heck out of me, and I thanked them for the research. So bottom line here folks, for me, and I suspect for all of you, is "I am not taking a drink, JUST FOR TODAY!" and for twenty-four hours I am given the joy of living sober. It works! Thanks!