Hi everyone, my name is Debbie and I'm an alcoholic.

Dealing with pain was something I ran from all my life. When I got here I didn't want to learn how to deal with pain, I just wanted to not hurt anymore. Then as I hung around the rooms, I learned that feeling the pain and learning to walk through it meant that I was beginning to heal. Pain became a part of me, not ALL of me. My sponsor always says that it is pain that brings us to AA. It's not as if we join this group for social status or something. Whenever I'm in pain today, I have a set of tools outlined for me in precise order. All that is required is that I be willing to use the tools as directed. Step Three really helps me ... turning my will and my life over to the care of God. I understand today that my 'will' is my thoughts and my 'life' is my actions. Staying in the moment, not playing in "what if" land or "what was" land, because for me today, I understand I can only receive God's will for me in the present moment ... not in the future or the past of my mind, but in "what is." I can live with any pain just for now. Next, I know I have to get out the pen and paper and write, and go to my sponsor, as the Big Book tells me to do. Only then do I get relief, and only after Step Nine do I experience spiritual growth completely. I hope this helps someone today. It helps to remind me what I must do. Thanks for allowing me to share. Bless you all.
- Debbie