I'm Glenda, an alcoholic. My belief in a Higher Power has changed over the years. At the beginning of my sobriety, my sponsor said, "Ask God to keep you sober when you get up in the morning. If you're sober at the end of the day, say thank you." I told her I didn't believe God would listen or really cared if I stayed sober or not, He was too busy getting ready to send me to Hell. She said, "AA is a program of action. I don't care if you don't believe, JUST DO IT!"

I did what I was told because above all, I knew from the bottom of my heart that I didn't want to drink again. A couple of months later, I noticed I'd stayed sober, even through a couple of "wild hair" stages, which, being a periodic drinker, used to send me to the nearest liquor store.

So I kept asking Him to keep me sober and He kept doing it. I was still pretty much afraid of Him (I called it a healthy respect). I was 22 years sober the first time I got really angry with Him. I won't go into the reason, it doesn't matter. What did matter very much was that I wasn't struck by lightning. I discovered I could write Him a letter, tell Him how very angry I was with Him, and still feel His love. That was really my breakthrough to a close, very personal, relationship with Him that is very comfortable.

It didn't come all at once, it came very gradually. It took me a long time to accept that He still loved me, no matter what I did or said. He never turned His back on me. It's wonderful space to be in, and if I continue to grow and learn in AA the way I'm supposed to if I want to stay sober, I'm sure I'll become more in touch with Him each day. I remind myself I'm not cured of alcoholism, I only have a daily reprieve contingent on my relationship with my Higher Power. Thanks for letting me share.
-Glenda