My name is Joanna, and I'm an alcoholic.

It's a joy to be here today. I thought I had faith before I came into the program. I was a member of a church and even sang in the choir ... hangovers and all! But I always felt that God loved everyone else before He loved me. I felt unworthy ... actually, unclean. I lived a horrendous double life in those days. I was goody-goody and pious on the outside, but spiraled down into a black hole of drunkenness when no one was looking. I was a "closet" drinker, terribly lonely, and spiritually bankrupt. After I came into our fellowship, I began ever so slowly to discover that I really was worthy of love. I had felt so unlovable before ... but you reached out to me, welcomed me, and invited me to join you on this incredible journey. I'll never forget how you hugged me at my first meeting! It had been years since anyone had hugged me like that ... maybe never. Today, I feel there is a precious Gem glowing inside me ... it's my HP, or my Faith ... and it's my responsibility to keep it clear, clean, and shining always. I do this by staying sober a day at a time, getting to meetings, and following the Steps and Traditions. When the day comes that I meet my Maker, I can present that beautiful Jewel to St. Peter ... and know I've been loved! Thanks for letting me share.
- Joanna