(From AAOnline 5th Anniversary Party)

Hi all! Gary, alcoholic.

It was a normal December day in 1998. I would get up early, drink, and throw up a beer or two, then smoke pot, and settle in with a beer and my computer. Food had become a thing of the past. I was full time alkie. I thought I had enough money from cashing in my 401K (retirement fund) to die, prior to going to prison. Well, this morning I saw that someone had bookmarked this room ... me, in a blackout, I think. I started showing up every morning. After a month or so, I kinda thought some of you really loved me. This made me very angry. I remember telling one member, "Do not love me!" She said she would if she wanted. So, I said, "Don't speak about it ... keep yer big mouth shut!" She started saying it all the time ... mean, mean, woman! During this time, I was dying. I knew it, and prayed for it. Each day I'd say, "Please God allow me to NOT wake up." He's kinda mean, too. I could NOT get sober, and I didn't even try. I had no use for AA, but you guys were fun. Then, I would watch Donnie and Marie on TV and cry every weekday. Somehow from you guys, a glimmer of hope sparked inside me. One day, I had missed a court appearance and my attorney called. She gave me the phone number of a rehab that would take a hopeless, homeless, disgusting, drunk like me in. I called ... they said yep yer an alkie ... and tried to keep me there the very day I interviewed. They said I would die soon. Heck! Rent was paid till 4/1/99, so I said see ya then, and drank more. Had it not been for this room, the hope, the laughs, the people, I wouldn't have made it. God was here every day, and even drunk, I knew it. So, I did 135 days inpatient, and my prison sentence was suspended. And I am still doing the deal ... a miracle that was started right here. I love this room with every fiber of me ... and you guys, too! Kinda gettin choked up again here. Thanks and God bless!
- Gary