My name is joanna, and I'm an alcoholic.

Today marks my twenty-fifth AA anniversary as well as my seventy-third birthday. I'd like to think I've gained great wisdom in all this time, but to be honest, the longer I'm around, I'm finding I've still got a lot to learn. I am continuing to explore, and have only scratched the surface. It's not just about putting down the drink, it's about learning to live this new way of life and practicing the principles of our program in all my affairs. Not an easy task. For me, it's a journey of self-discovery. An adventure!

I chose today's Big Book quote because it's one of my favorite passages. Acceptance is truly the answer to all my problems today. I still have problems, but I'm slowly learning to accept them and get on with life. I'm a slow learner. It has taken a long time for me to understand I'm right where I'm supposed to be, instead of trying to push and shove life around to suit my imagined 'wants.' Life is good today. AA has given me back my self-respect as well as my self-esteem. Most of all, I have been given a belief in a Higher Power. Not the angry, punishing God of my youth, but a gentle, loving Spirit who guides me through life's challenges. He has never given me more than I can handle, although there have been some rough spots when I nearly lost my way. Staying close to the Fellowship, sharing with my sponsor and sponsees, and a strong commitment to service keep me in the sunlight of the Spirit.

I have been singularly blessed from the very beginning. I was able to accept the fact that I'm an alcoholic at my first meeting. I found AA without the benefit of rehabs or treatment centers. Not that I'm anyone special, I just think I was ready. I knew deep down in my heart there was something terribly wrong with me, although externals were still fairly well in place. I owned my own home, had three beautiful children, all in college, a nice car, a budding career. I was relieved to find I had a disease, and that it had nothing to do with my lack of willpower. Then, when I was told all I had to do to keep this fatal malady in remission was to not drink... just for today... I was given tremendous hope. I was actually excited! I was embarking on a new adventure! There are still a lot of 'yets' out there just waiting for me to pick up that first drink. I know I am only one drink away from a drunk, and that fact terrifies me. I never want to go back to that hell of blackouts and vomit.

Words fail me when I try to describe the gratitude I feel for our beloved AA. The rewards are beyond description. I never imagined I would live to this age. When I think of my grandparents when they were in their 70's, I remember thinking they were ancient. But now that I'm getting on in years myself, I don't feel ancient at all. There's so much to do and to learn. New friends to meet, and old ones to cherish. The task of sending the Daily Thought is giving me an even stronger foundation in sobriety. Searching the literature each day is giving me a stronger understanding of our Steps and Traditions and an even greater appreciation of the miracle of Bill and Dr Bob meeting in Akron that day in May 1935. I am so grateful for the privilege of service at AAOnline. Composing and formatting the Daily Thought is my daily meditation. I wouldn't have missed this gift for all the world. Sharing my life with all of you is a joy.

And last, but by all means, nowhere near the least... since I've been sober, my tribe has increased. I now have six absolutely gorgeous and perfect grandchildren, two beautiful daughters-in-law, and a handsome son-in-law who have never seen me take a drink. One of my sons is in our Fellowship too, which makes our relationship a very special one.

I've rambled on too long. Thanks for your patience. May God bless us all.

- joanna b, new york city. d.o.s 12/16/1977