Hi! I'm "X," an alcoholic.

Good to be here among my own. Welcome to anyone new, and to the 'oldies but goodies.' I remember waking up in a hospital Intensive Care Unit after a suicide attempt. A nurse was holding my hand. I said a cuss word, and started crying. Anyway, at one point she said, "Well at least you've still got yourself." I thought, "Who did you think I was running away from?" I was trying to escape everything I was. It was just too painful being me. I was so dark inside my soul, I would blackout drink on purpose. I mean, I would chug two pints, then wait for the blackout. It was like temporary suicide. And that's the way I drank. Then one day, I walked into Alcoholics Anonymous, and eventually began to understand that I was not alone. Many folks came here in much the same way ... in a lot of pain, self-hatred, and shame. After I started to work the Steps, someone told me that if I hung on to this program with both hands, I might just get to meet myself and like who I meet. What I had thought I was, or what I had thought about me, wasn't the real me. The Steps began getting to the real me. I'm a good man, always was ... I was just very sick with a soul sickness that finally began to heal. I'm still healing and discovering. As we say, "More will be revealed." But I'll tell you what ... there is no other place in the world like Alcoholics Anonymous. I've been given the opportunity and the chance to begin to heal. Thanks!
- "X"