Hi all, I am Larry, a grateful alcoholic.

When I first came to AA, I definitely was hiding out in AA. And that was a good thing. The only other way I knew was to take the path to the liquor store, so ducking in out of "real " life was just what I needed. As time went on though, it was pointed out to me by the woman who is now my wife, that AA was the only thing I did. I had four coffee commitments, and I would drop everything to go speak at a meeting. I had no friends outside of AA. If we were not talking about the AA program of recovery, I had nothing to say. This was no good. I am grateful to my wife for showing me my imbalance, but I had to find out why I was doing this, other than the superficial. So as I prayed and meditated and stopped making so much coffee here in Queens, NY, I discovered that FEAR again had slipped its way in, in a very subtle way. It took the words in our Big Book and the voice of our Fellowship and twisted them so I didn't have to face real life and so that I would become bored and stop growing, all in the name of something good. This is the insidious nature of this disease that lives within me. It even tried to take the good and use it against me. The one trick I have learned is to simply count. Yes, simply count how often I am doing anything ... going to meetings, spending time with the family, exercising, or resting, or anything else ... if I count, I can see what I am doing too much of. You might be able to tell my favorite is hiding out in AA! So I need to be extra vigilant in that area because, for me, that is the trick.
- Larry